Morning Mysore Guest Blog - Kirsten Carroll

When people first hear about what my mornings are like, they tend to look at me like I'm crazy.  Yes, it's possible that before you have even considered waking up, I have already done around an hour and a half of hard work in a room full of people doing strange poses and breathing funny. Sounds like a good time, right? Honestly, it's the best way to start the day.

Before I started to spend my mornings in the mysore room, I didn't know much about Ashtanga.  In fact, all I really knew was that I liked the idea of a class in the morning before I had to go to work. I'm pretty sure it's the earliest yoga class offered in Columbus, so I decided to try it out. I had done yoga before at my gym and in my living room, but never yoga like this.

Like a lot of people, I was pretty intimidated at first.  I read a little bit about mysore style and Ashtanga before going to my first class, so I had a vague idea of what I was getting into.  On my first day, I learned sun salutations A & B and then the final three poses.  I am almost amazed now that I got even that far. But I struggled through and Taylor, who I would soon come to refer to as my teacher, told me that if I kept coming, I would learn more. So I kept showing up. And he was right: I have learned a lot more.

Most of what I've learned, though, is not asana.  Don't get me wrong: I have learned plenty about the Ashtanga primary series. But what I've really taken away from the practice is not simply that. I have learned a lot of other things, including things about myself. 

One of my favorite and most unexpected lessons has been how to laugh at myself. I think it really started when I was learning shoulderstand.  I could not for the life of me figure out how to get my legs up. Things were just not clicking.  Normally when I can't learn something quickly or can't figure something out, I will eventually get frustrated and get down on myself about it.  Not then.  I started laughing.  I realized that not only did I look utterly ridiculous at that moment, but that it was okay and I might as well embrace it.  I laughed so hard I cried.  I laughed so much that Taylor could not keep it together either. I laughed myself right into a better sense of humor that day, I think.

I don't laugh every day in my practice. Some days are hard. It can take a lot just to show up. But every day that I practice is worth it. I'm grateful that I get the opportunity.

Ty Burhoe - Angel's Prayer

Yoga in New York!!! With Sharath

Some of you may know that I have recently gotten back from New York. I went there really as a precursor to my trip to India. I seriously think that Sharath couldn't of pushed us any harder. I am not kidding we held headstand for every bit of 5 minutes and my shoulder were screaming "no mas, no mas". Oh Yeah and just when I thought I was a badass at Navasana, i was humbled. It was a five count and again like a half hour long ;)

and just for the record don't talk to me about Utplithi the last pose in the primary series. By that time I was in a trance and crying inside. not jk.

My overall experience was amazing! Everyday I was in the middle of the room and Sharath hung out right in that area. I didn't have my glasses on so I couldn't see anything but  every day he would say something directed at my vicinity about " no catching, no catching. I assumed it was to me I was the only one catching in Navasana! ha!  There was about 300 people in the room and through out the week I probably got about 6 adjustments. I was really surprised at that. I think he may have liked my Ganesh on my chest and the Shiva on my back.(tattoo) That may have been why I got a lot of adjustments.  Another crazy thing is when I got adjusted  they were soft but very effective and intelligent. My body did what he asked!

When I went up to pay my respects the first thing he said to me was " Where did you get that shirt?" I said "What?" He said "that shirt very interesting for a yogi".  hmmmm! I said. I was going to explain but I realized quickly that he was teasing me.  In just a weeks time it was sort of like the forming of a relationship. Pretty amazing if you ask me. I love my life

Welcome video

Bewilderment

Everyday I get up at 3am to work at a job that I half like. My job tends to be super stressful. I manage or I guess you could call it "babysit" 50 employees who roughly make between $8 to 15$ an hour. Some of these employees struggle with reading others with listening and others just show stupidity all the time. I don't know why I am telling you this other than sometimes I just want to say enough is enough. It is to much!!!! I get paid a descent amount but the amount that I give..... you would think that I own the place. I do not! I tend to take this job home and wrestle with it and let it effect all of my other relationships. My wife said to me the other day " Calm down! Taylor, you don't need to boss us around your not at work anymore". Wow, Not cool. Obviously, my switch is broken. The switch that turns work off and turns on my home life.  Sometimes, it just wears on me to much. Through all my soul searching and Yoga, I have found that it is not the job that's the problem. It is me. About a year ago we/ I had to lay off about half of the then 75 person crew. Boy did I feel the grim reaper. I remember looking in the mirror and just wishing that I get back in bed and pull the covers over my head and wish that all my problem would disappear. The problems didn't disappear as a matter of fact they got worse but my outlook got better. I had somewhat of a epiphany....... as I sat in front of the mirror wishing i didn't have to go in I realized that I was creating my own misery.... I was creating this suffering ..... I was creating this pain in my body.  I practice yoga on a daily basis and  for some reason when I was practicing,  I realized that I was blocking it all out. I was using my yoga as a form of escape. So instead of using my yoga practice to soften the issues I was having at work. I was actually creating a bigger one by not dealing with it. My practice began to dull and my body felt like I was carrying around bricks as I jumped around on my yoga mat. The pain of practice almost became unbearable every joint in my whole body cracking and popping.  I was creating my own misery and suffering and I was carrying it around with me all the time. Everywhere.  I broke through to the other side.......... On my yoga mat standing in Samasthit and  I was building my breath and awareness standing at attention.  Tears coming down my face. The bricks were lessened  the heaviness slipping away to the light.
You know managing these guys and having to lay people off. It Sucks 
Some days this job of mine is unbearable but they don't pay me enough to take this shit home with me.
Freedom

The Basics of Pranayama Yoga w/ Richard Freeman

Father and Yogi

What does it mean to be a father? What does it mean to be a yogi? These are questions that I have been contemplating. Which is more important? Or, are they equally important? I have been struggling to find balance between the two. It reminds me of a story I heard in sutra class. The story is of Arjuna with his guru and classmates. The guru was teaching about concentration and how to shoot a bow with extreme focus of mind. Looking into a nearby tree, the guru saw a white bird with red eyes sitting at the top. Next, the guru asked each classmate what they saw. Some described the branches; others noticed how the wind was moving through the tree. Some didn't notice the tree at all; they described the sun and the blue sky. Each of the classmates was reprimanded. When the guru asked Arjuna what he saw, he replied "Guru, all I see is the red of the eyes like it was a bullseye for my arrow".  Arjuna had such an overwhelming sense of focus that he was unaware of the rest of his surroundings.

When I heard this story, I realized how focused I was on yoga and how unfocused I was on being a father. My life today does not have to be all or nothing. I really struggle with balance, but I do not have to pursue my dreams without regard to others. I can be a good dad and live the life of a yogi. By going to my mat every day, I become a better father. To me, being a good father involves being compassionate, loving, understanding, providing, comforting, accepting.  All of which, yoga has taught me. My dharma may be to show my daughter the peace and compassion I have learned. Or, maybe it is to lead her toward yoga so one day she may find her God through this practice. That seems like pretty important stuff!

How could you not want to be a good dad?