Welcome video

Bewilderment

Everyday I get up at 3am to work at a job that I half like. My job tends to be super stressful. I manage or I guess you could call it "babysit" 50 employees who roughly make between $8 to 15$ an hour. Some of these employees struggle with reading others with listening and others just show stupidity all the time. I don't know why I am telling you this other than sometimes I just want to say enough is enough. It is to much!!!! I get paid a descent amount but the amount that I give..... you would think that I own the place. I do not! I tend to take this job home and wrestle with it and let it effect all of my other relationships. My wife said to me the other day " Calm down! Taylor, you don't need to boss us around your not at work anymore". Wow, Not cool. Obviously, my switch is broken. The switch that turns work off and turns on my home life.  Sometimes, it just wears on me to much. Through all my soul searching and Yoga, I have found that it is not the job that's the problem. It is me. About a year ago we/ I had to lay off about half of the then 75 person crew. Boy did I feel the grim reaper. I remember looking in the mirror and just wishing that I get back in bed and pull the covers over my head and wish that all my problem would disappear. The problems didn't disappear as a matter of fact they got worse but my outlook got better. I had somewhat of a epiphany....... as I sat in front of the mirror wishing i didn't have to go in I realized that I was creating my own misery.... I was creating this suffering ..... I was creating this pain in my body.  I practice yoga on a daily basis and  for some reason when I was practicing,  I realized that I was blocking it all out. I was using my yoga as a form of escape. So instead of using my yoga practice to soften the issues I was having at work. I was actually creating a bigger one by not dealing with it. My practice began to dull and my body felt like I was carrying around bricks as I jumped around on my yoga mat. The pain of practice almost became unbearable every joint in my whole body cracking and popping.  I was creating my own misery and suffering and I was carrying it around with me all the time. Everywhere.  I broke through to the other side.......... On my yoga mat standing in Samasthit and  I was building my breath and awareness standing at attention.  Tears coming down my face. The bricks were lessened  the heaviness slipping away to the light.
You know managing these guys and having to lay people off. It Sucks 
Some days this job of mine is unbearable but they don't pay me enough to take this shit home with me.
Freedom